My Sweet Prince
Song used while writing:
Warnings: Implied self-harm, implied eating disorder, implied sex. General hate/depression/angst.
My Sweet Prince
Every single day you get out of some stranger’s bed. Every night again you leave before the lights are turned on, before the other pair of eyes open. Because you know that’s what they want. You grab your clothes, dress, and leave the room. You never take anything with you, just your own memory. Because you know that’s what they want. You never give up, you always find a new conquest. The way you have been treated by them, God only knows.
Sometimes I hear you cry at night, the bed shakes against the wall while you sob, heavily into your own arms. Why you come back to it is a mystery to me. It has turned into your drug, and you will never get enough of it. Even when it breaks you. You thought you would get that moment of fame, but instead they all used you as their doormat. You are nothing but a hole that they fill. You hoped it would mend you, but it broke you; shattered you. Now you’re at the point of no return.
I notice how you punish yourself every time. Notice how your clothes seem to swallow your body whole, how your cheekbones stand out more with every week passing. I notice the bags under your eyes, and the endless amount of time you spend in the bathroom trying to fix yourself. Whenever you’re with them, you smile. But I see the real you. I see a person I hate. I see a person who hates itself.
It makes me nauseous to think about it, the life you live. Sometimes I wonder how you are, but only for a split second. I never let myself think back to a time when I cared. I hate you. You are nothing but a starfucker.
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